The Calendar Boy

So they are making a VERY limited amount of these calendars, but the pages are posted on the website, if you want one let me know asap. Otherwise email TinyTots like I did and tell them they should print more and sell in online store and donate profits to charity. They DID turn out pretty cute. And they did make Banneker "Mr. July"!

http://www.tinytots.com/info/2010cal.html

Happy Birthday Papa.

It's Jeff's birthday today. I guess for me everyone is getting the gift of Banneker this year. Hey, it gets me off the hook easy for creative gift giving, and it is a great gift for anyone after all.

For Jeff's birthday my sister and I embarked on B's first art project. I could not have done it without her, we needed all the hands we could get. I wanted to make hand and foot prints. They no longer do this in the hospital, and I have always loved seeing the little hand and foot prints that are from babies. So we greased up B and went to town with some water soluble paints. The result was adorable and my favorite is this unprompted Vulcan greeting...and this is how we know he is his father's son.

Happy Birthday Papa.

the daddy blog

Jeff started a fatherhood blog.
He will be posting video there, go check it out.

Here is a link to the most recent activity. Good stuff!

http://jeffspoplife.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html

Value

We are broke. I know it’s true for many American’s right now. For us after an extra month off work for me with no FMLA or Disability and Jeff on unemployment for several months, it is catching up with us. Don’t get me wrong, we eat and pay the rent and a few bills, but for now that’s about it. Jeff hates it when I say anything in terms of lack or negative, it’s bad energy and he is right- it is, but I am just being honest.. We are broke- nothing extra being purchased here. The thing is I don’t miss much and if I just don’t go out or online, I don’t feel lack or negative. We have what we need and it makes what we have all the more valuable.

Of course what we value a lot right now is our time with Banneker. I only work part time and Jeff can be with B while I work and we do not take this time for granted. But we thought hey, why not put Banneker to work too?

First stop, diaper service 2010 calendar contest. “Green Babies Wear Cotton Diapers” theme. I told Jeff it would be silly if we didn’t come up with something to send in, so Jeff’s idea was to throw B in with a bunch of diapers and take some pics. So we did. The contest deadline was last Wednesday at midnight. B had taken a nap a little late (poor child was all mixed up with daylight time) and I kind of panicked because I thought he was confused and would sleep through the night and we’d miss the deadline. Sure enough, he woke up less than an hour later, his regular nap length and he was in a GREAT mood. We clicked away and not only got this shot but about 50 other priceless ones. Not to mention a few giggles from him. So off the image went at about 10 p.m. to the diaper service and the very next day, it was official, we won! He is a 2010 calendar boy. One month of free diapers, way to go B! Next stop…well any suggestions? Contests? Agents you know?

He has no idea what we have done, making him work for his diapers at such a young age. And he doesn’t care, he had a great time laying in all the soft cotton diapers and giggling and having both mom and dad smile and give him lots of attention. I value what we did together as a family to accomplish this silly little victory. That’s how I see it not negative, not lack, not broke. That’s what value is anyway, right? It’s not about a deal you got at Walmart. It’s about what is positive and abundant and full in your life. In that little evening photo shoot I was reminded how rich my life is with the cutest baby in the world, a skill set to help me capture and share that and knowing some how some way we are truly doing all right.

Not too scarey

Happy Halloween!
We met our neighbor Stefanie and her daughter Olive to walk around to a couple houses in the area. Mostly to show off our cute little babies. Olive was wearing a cow suit and Banneker had inherited a "trick or treat" shirt with glow in the dark stars, we also had a little green top (hat) for him so his costume was a "human bean" I think it was Stephanie who said it.

The girls who live next door go all out with the decorations and an adult after party. It's creepy scarey cool and draws lots of attention and shreeks. So we took a picture in their graveyard. Then down the street this other guy was all decked out and Jeff was more scared than B (see pic). It all just looked like lights, shapes and smoke to B so he wasn't startled or scared.

What I think was really interesting about Banneker's non-reaction to it all was, well his non reaction. He has no history that tells him a story about how he should be or feel in a situation so he just is seeing it for what it is, interesting lights, and sounds and colors and darkness. He only reacts when his needs are not met and that is his short history. The usual: hungry, tired, bored, wet. It's so great to witness that newness, untainted by stories and history. It seems real and true with a capital T! Sheesh we make up a lot of stories as we grow up- don't we? And we get attached to those stories and we think they are us, but really it's all just lights, and sounds and colors and darkness. And really it's not too scarey.

3 months old

Today we celebrated B's 3 month birthday by hanging out with friends at the park. Then we got our chocolate dessert, a torte this time and B performed his caped flying baby routine for us. Enjoy!

the making of a human being

10 fingers
all exactly like dad’s
10 toes
big toes are mine, the rest dad’s
2 ears
perfect, mom and dad have good ears
2 big brown eyes, long eyelashes
dark ring mine, lashes mine, brown, dad
2 expressive eyebrows
50:50
long torso
mine
long legs
dad
alert in the world…
we may never know where that is from but likely a huge part of the reason he is here with us as his parents.

Seal and Heidi Klum had their 4th child recently and Seal had this to say… "It's difficult to imagine loving another child as much as you love your existing children," "Anyone who has a family will tell you this. Where will one find that extra love? If you love your existing children with all of your heart, how then can one possibly find more heart with which to love another?"

At 7:46 p.m. on Friday, he continued, "the answer to this question came in the form of our fourth child and second daughter... From the moment she looked into both of our eyes it was endless love at first sight. She is beautiful beyond words and we are happy that she chose us to watch her grow over the coming years."

When your baby is brand new, you don’t know him or her, they are a perfect stranger. You know the baby is yours but you don’t know the baby. I think the first 6-8 weeks are getting to know who your baby is and learning to love love love them too. Yes, it’s love at first sight but you don’t know them. As Banneker approaches 3 months. We know him more. This will change, but for now we know him. His 10 toes and fingers. His scrunched up nose when he cries. His morning ease. His tight grip on our fingers. His favorite toys. How he loves to be tightly swaddled to sleep. His little sucking mouth on my shoulder when he’s hungry. How he grabs his hair when something is intense for him. His pooping face. He loves to “fly”, likely thanks to his dad making up a theme song for him that is oddly like the Superman song. He is secure now knowing that we take care of him. We are secure knowing we can take care of him and each day we know him more and love him more. We made him, that trips me out the most, we made another human being. I recognize the physical part we made, the things that are like me or like Jeff and that is really amazing. I also see he has his own unique spirit that we are not responsible for him having, but incredibly blessed that he chose us to share it with. Like any parent, I consider him quite perfect and I really heart him!

Numbers Game

2 months old
3 a.m.
13 pounds

All I have to report these days seems to be wrapped up in numbers. I was going to post the 13# blog when we had him happily weighing in at 13#s and that was after spitting up on the pediatrician's floor 2x (see #s). The Dr asked "Does he do that often?" To which we replied yes and he said well weight doesn't seem to be an issue so... So, I did my research and think Banneker is a "happy spitter" more of a laundry and social problem rather than a medical problem was how they put it.

He is 2 months old, 2 months, again seems like he should be 2 years and also wow 2 months, its true we don't get any younger. He's more chatty, more smiley,more engaged. We took him to Minneapolis for a visit before the snow flies and he did awesome on the plane and awesome with all the attention and activity he had while there. Thanks for all the love friends! Wish summer and fall lasted longer there.

And here it is 3 a.m. well now 4 and I am writing this lame post because I wanted to post pictures before he is 3 months old. I was the recipient of MN germs and got a cold while there so by the time he goes to sleep for the first time at night around 8 or 9 all I want to do is join him that leaves little time for writing and posting, so here you go. Enjoy 2 months, 13 # and 3 a.m.

social smile

From Loka Yoga’s Blog and Alice Joanou-Oakland’s finest yoga instructor:


When I am, not Mother Theresa patient with the girls...
When I imagine the Berkeley Bowl going up in flames...
When I use words that would wilt a flower...
When I manage to fail at each and every one of the yamas and niyamas in ONE SINGLE day...
When I shove the cat off the bed without remorse...
When I am mentally cruel to myself and others, especially when in front of a mirror...
When I am quite sure that the Galileo was wrong and that surely the earth is rotating around ME
I think, Jeez Louise, this Yoga is not working...
And David says: "Just imagine what your life would be like without it."


Though my practice is slow going. My life is still yoga and Alice’s quote from her blog was apropos. Six weeks into this and I have finally rested in the place where I realize life is different and I now have 2 priorities, one to go to work to make a little money to pay the bills and two to take care of Banneker. It’s incredibly simple and yogic. Now I just have to convince Jeff of the same thing. When he is at home the short 3 hours a day I go to the office, I told him he has to look at it as the 3 hours he feeds, changes, plays with and puts down to nap Banneker and if he gets one more thing done it’s a bonus. It takes some (ok, a lot) of reconditioning. But it’s really pretty cool when you think about it in our busy life’s: it’s paring back, getting down to the good stuff. It’s one thing to have a partner in life and have to consider their feelings and take into consideration their choices. It’s another entirely to have someone depend on you and realize there is something more pressing and important than if you get to shower today. Humbling.

Then there is this 6-week landmark, the time your child begins to recognize you and even smile. The book said “it’s the most emotionally gratifying thing” and they are so right. All this time you make yourself crazy with no sleep and a lifestyle change beyond, what you could ever conceive.
… and then this little shining, beaming, cooing, glowing, sparkling gem shows up in the form of a little smile on your child’s face and it’s aimed at you and it feels like the biggest, warmest, sweetest hug around your heart and you feel everything is good in the world and it is. And like my yoga practice, I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it.

Happy BIRTHday

It's hard to think about Banneker's actual birth day. All the events leading up to him getting here, and dealing with kaiser are disappointing to say the least. The short of it is that I thought by going to the "KP Birth Center" in Walnut Creek we would have a good chance of having a staff that trusted birth and supported a natural birth. In the end the KP Birth Center was just a hospital, and we ended up with a hospital birth, in other words a C-section. You hear the staff and other mom's who have had an unexpected c-section say that in the end it doesn't matter, as long as they arrive healthy. It does matter, it matters that the one thing women are predisposed to do is marginalized and the work we are set up to do to get babies here is seen as something we really can't and shouldn't do and so we are not supported. And as with all institutions- financial, political, educational, medical-fear establishes what is normal. Really think about all the decisions we make on a daily basis that are motivated by fear. We have even forgotten how to trust our intuition, and if someone warns us of an impending danger, real or manufactured, we are afraid and our once sensitive nervous system no longer accurately tells us to fight or flight. So it does matter, it matters that we fight and not be afraid. I don't want to raise my son in fear and worry, and I won't so if I am "that mom" forever, forgive me Banneker, I am sorry if you are embarrassed, but you will be strong and healthy and free, and you deserve that. So happy BIRTH day Banneker after being here just ONE MONTH, you are the most beautiful reminder of love, compassion and freedom, thank you for choosing us to be your mom and dad.
And... Happy 4th Birthday to my little friends Evan and August who entered the world with just a moments notice 4 years ago and taught me and their mom and dad (Laura and Rob) all about trust and love and compassion and freedom. I know little bits of day to day freedom are widdled away with every new being, but Evan and August taught all of us that freedom is also one moment by one short moment. I cherish each short moment of freedom I spent with them starting August 23, 2005, those moments allowed me the courage to have Banneker.

LOVE

I remember my friend Andrea said that there was more love in the world after the birth of her daughter. It's true every little being that finds his or her way here adds more love, because they make every living thing around them see more love, feel more love, express more love. I think it goes back to that purity that comes with being brand new in the world. We hope you find more love in your day today and if not we are ready for your visit so you can see for yourself. Thanks for all the love Auntie Tinah, we will miss having you nearby. And thanks Andrea (other Andrea) for being so inspired, check it out: www.chooselovemore.com

3 weeks old

Already... and it seems like it's been 3 months.

Life- when it gets in the way-breathe

Life: the thing we DO everyday. What's that saying? "Life is what happens when you are busy making plans" We come to have this idea that life is what’s happening to us and in a sense it is happening to us with each inhale and exhale. Not exactly the same kind of life we plan for though, you know all the things you want to do and be and have and accomplish. It’s my awesome yogi students who are reminding me to breath to experience the here and now with each breath and I do and I have to remind myself of it now more than ever- each breath is for me so that I can be there for my son and husband too.
The other kind of life is experienced through each new breath. The miraculous thing that we don’t have to plug in, that is both voluntary and involuntary- the thing that connects us to the infinite supply of the universe. I think of Banneker taking his first breath. I couldn’t see him, I wasn’t there to help him or experience it with him, but I heard him breath life here on this planet. The first breath, so clean and pure and new. Now when I watch him breath in his sleep it speeds up and slows down and he pants like a little puppy and there are all these little interruptions in the clean and pure and new that was and I feel a little sad and it reminds me how quick life moves, get’s in the way of our plans, and in the way of our breath.
Life is on a spectrum from birth to passing and the spectrum eventually becomes circular and closes. My dear mentor and friend Hilary is at the other end of life’s breath with her mother right now. Cheers to the first and the last breath and all the breaths in between and here’s hoping life doesn’t get in the way. And to Mrs Bullock and her life, especially her last breath it will be as clean and pure and new as the first one.

We Are Family

Weekends are always different than the week even though neither Jeff or I have a "normal" schedule. We have a family schedule now and both of us are tripping out about it. I wonder when you change from whose baby is that? To whatever is next.

My good friend Erika is here this weekend celebrating his one week birthday with us, cooking and cleaning and holding a baby on demand. We know each other well so it's very easy for me to have her here, and I am sure she's glad it's only the weekend. I wish she lived down the street. Thanks for everything Erika! Which reminds me Banneker turned one week old yesterday. Jeff was supposed to post but looks like he forgot, I 'll have him try again.

So they say it's best having family nearby after the birth of a child. Okay I get it. We are officially overwhelmed. I know time marches on in all circumstances and things change so I try not to get caught up in the moments I realize... I can't and have no desire to return a phone call, I am once again behind the 8 ball due to the antics of kaiser with breast feeding, when I can't bend to get something I dropped, when I feel absolutely no core strength, when I miss running around doing nothing with Jeff on the weekend, when my yoga practice consists of sitting up straight or using the door frame for a simple side stretch, when I have nothing to do but sit in the back yard and knit.
Time marches on and we are a family now.

good night

One week ago we were still uping the Pitocin drip at about this time and hopeful we would be more actively in labor soon. Our hospital room was well worn and our favorite nurse Katharyn was getting ready to leave our shift. She was the angel that got us through our kaiser experience I think of her everyday. When she came to introduce herself she said "I really trust this process." Which was exactly what I was hoping to hear from anyone at kaiser. I thought of writing on my belly before we got there "trust birth" and "today is my birthday" as she left she told us she was excited to see our son and us on her next shift, she said we were a beautiful team and our baby was lucky to have us. So good night Ms Katharyn we are thinking of you.

The Advantage of Being a Photographer.

he's here

Banneker Lewis Moore

named after Benjamin Banneker look it up!

July 25, 2009

8:54 p.m.

8# 6 oz

20 inches

Yes he really IS that cute.

At home now.

Visiting hours: not now

donations at the door: accepting 24/7

more info as we can

send your "out now" vibes

So today is officially 42 weeks. It's a long time to be in the mama. Lots of women hold them in longer. We aren't trying to keep him in too long but we have been letting him have his own time in there and in true Metry Moore fashion, he's chillin'. So now we are telling him he has to come. Not because we have it out for him or we've run out of patience or whatever but because now is the time. Like when you move your baby from the crib (or your bed) to his own bed.

We have had to endure the absolute ridiculousness of Kaiser Permanente and their protocol for a woman at 42 weeks, which is geriatric to them. To give you a small taste of how "seriously concerned for my well being" they are...they called the police when we missed an appointment to come to our house and see if we were okay today. Seriously they did...any lawyers out there? I think it's an invasion of privacy or something. So we had him checked on today (monitored), strong little heartbeat, all is well and we SPRUNG up out of there, determined to come back in labor on our own without their well meaning concern.

So send us out your energy for labor now and protection from the evils of KP!

We love you and hope to have news tomorrow. He's a LEO now.

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Well we are rapidly approaching the day where we are going to have to check ourselves into the hospital and bring our son into this world and the one thing I have learned from all of this is.....patience. This Journey with my wife has been an amazing one as I know all fathers, old and new can attest to. We have both grandmothers here at the house and they are eagerly awaiting their new grandson. Here's Nana Moore having a bite of lunch and braving the chilly Emmeryville Marina. Hopefully She will see her new grandson this week.

fruit

…low hanging fruit,

...fruit of our labor,

...fruit of the loom.

We had a midwife appointment today that turned into a lot of things besides just an appt to check out our health and wellbeing. Which we are all doing fine, strong and healthy. What started as a scheduled appt became a Kaiser induced series of fear-based procedures including 2 ultra sounds, combined 90 minutes of fetal monitoring, an induction date set, admission to the hospital labor and delivery department, discharge from the hospital labor and delivery department and of course that warm Kaiser reception we were totally expecting (not really). In the picture are my admission bracelet and discharge papers, solid proof of the administrative fees we will now owe Kaiser because they don’t want us to take them to the bank.

And so it feels a little like we have labored today and not really seen the fruits of our labor however if you count the fact that we are now safely at home in the VERY early stages of laboring for our son, and not connected to Pitocin and epiderals, we have the first fruits of our labor. We are depending on some of the classics (walking, warm baths, staying busy), and some of our preferred methods like- herbs, acupuncture and some patience. With all that Kaiser put us through yesterday, I said to Jeff maybe they were wrong about the boy part, but we did see him looking adorable in the ultra sound and still sporting his little boy parts waiting to fit into his first pair of fruit of the looms . So we will wait and see and trust the process. I am feeling a little like he is the low hanging fruit right now, the kind that is ripe and within reach but still connected to the tree. We will let you know when the pickin' happens.

07.08.09

The guess date.

But sheesh the pressure.

The natural birth community will tell you not to hang on to the date but it's hard not to AND when it's that cool of a number, you get a little invested. If we did it again I'd ask them to go ahead and add two weeks and tell me that number. You spend the first 35 weeks trying not to deliver then all you want to do is deliver. It's like how you spend all those years trying NOT to get pregnant and then when you want to it's not easy. Well, for some people.

I stopped working this week and spent the week preparing what we can for the arrival. It was kind of nice, like a little UNPAID vacation. I sat in the sun, grocery shopped, cooked, cleaned, rearranged, organized, finished knitting (see pic) and relaxed. In the meantime Jeff started working this week, nothing permanent yet but something for him to do and apparently a great excuse to not hang out with the Metry gals. My mom is here and doing all she can to help prepare, thanks mom!

I am going to go type out our birth plan now. That and pay the bills and we should be REALLY ready to go. Check back for updates.

52 Celebrations!

I thought about changing the name of the blog today and then decided -every week should be a celebration if you are a newlywed, newlyparent, newlyemployed or whatever. I am also celebrating this blog as our way to stay connected and will use it to update you whenever possible. This is OUR Facebook and if you are interested add it to your bookmarks and check it whenever you need to do a little celebrating.

We are here celebrating..life.
Join us we have a new page, do you?

Then celebrate it!

Check out what we celebrated back in February.